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There is, for instance, a difference between sexual and romantic attraction. “If most of us are honest with ourselves, we are more dimensional than most labels allow, even when it comes to sex and love,” said Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D., founder of Modern Intimacy, when I showed her your question. But I don't want you to stress about that right now, because overall, I want you to focus less on labels and how other people think you should identify, and more on what makes you feel sexually and romantically satisfied. I can't tell you if you're gay, straight, or bisexual-ultimately, that's something only you can decide for yourself. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with me. I can tell how much you've been struggling with your identity, and being bullied for who you are has caused a lot of pain. I’m reaching out because I’m not ready to discuss this with my family or my close friends. It sounds obvious that I could be gay, but I feel that I don’t want to decide whether I’m gay or not without having any experiences with women first. On dating apps, I hesitate, freeze, or come up with an excuse to sabotage the potential relationship because I have been single for such a long time, and I often question if I really want to be in a relationship. I try to date women, but when I meet women on campus, I immediately end up in the friend zone. It’s quite confusing because I’m not sure anymore if I’m either gay, bi, straight, or in denial because I enjoy having sex with men, but I don’t see myself dating or living with a guy. My first experience with a guy was awkward and hot at the same time, and since then, I have hooked up with a few guys. I never did anything about it in high school, but I decided to experiment in college. The thing is, and this is the first time I’m telling someone else this, I am attracted to guys. But today, I hesitate, freeze, and get all nervous when it comes to women. When I was a kid, I could tell a girl that I liked her out of the blue without any hesitation. All this bullying made me lose confidence with women because I got to a point where I assumed that everyone looked at me and thought I was gay. I was bullied all the way through high school because of those things. I grew up with sisters, I’m not into sports or cars, and I’m not a “macho” type of guy. Sometimes when I talk to my mom, some comments slip out and she immediately changes the subject, and I pretend that I did not hear anything or that I did not get what she said. I go to grad school out of state, and I feel that they talk about me when I’m not there. I have a feeling that my family thinks or assumes that I’m gay. To submit a question for a future column, fill out this form. Ask me anything-literally, anything-and I will gladly Sexplain It. I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner," because you know that already. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer and ethical manwhore (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it).